Secrets....

Secret: Kept from knowledge or view, working with hidden aims or methods, undertaken or done so as to escape being observed or known by others.

Have you ever noticed that most secrets don't stay a secret? Or that when they come out they end up hurting the very ones that the person of origin was 'trying' to protect in the first place. I believe that secrets also give the enemy room to maneuver.

Three weeks ago, I found out that I have a younger brother and I must say that I went on a crying binge and really couldn't explain why. My father while married to my mother had an extramarital affair that produced an offspring. My brother, who is now 37 years old, lives about 6 blocks from my mother.  Although I believe that this is a wonderful thing, I can not escape the fact that I missed out on so many years of being a big sister. This has changed all that I've known as far as family goes.  I'm not the youngest of 6 and I also have more than one brother as I had stated all my life. 

To make matters worse, I found out that my new brother actually knew me from my old job (He didn't know that I was his sister). So all the while I thought that I was helping a customer, I was really helping my brother and that is when the bombshell really hit. Now that I am aware of him, I still can't get to him because I live so far away. This could turn into a sad novel, but I won't take you through the first two weeks which were tough, but will move on to the last wonderful week of getting to know him.

We have began to communicate via email and are getting to know each other.  I have left the pace up to him and will not rush him in this 'getting to know you process' although I have so many questions. Come to find out that he didn't know who his real father was until he turned 16 and by then our father had already passed away. All this time he thought that we wouldn't want to know him because of the circumstances of his birth.  He's had some sadness as well, but things are looking up now because he never knew that he had sisters and another brother.

There will be some rocky days ahead when he starts to ask questions about our father, but I have told him that I don't believe in secrets and believe in total honesty.  I can only tell the truth because we have both learned and will learn for some time to come that secrets are not the path to take.

I'm not sure at this point if he has a relationship with the Lord, but I don't believe that he does; but, I can say that my brother already knows how I feel about My Savior and that is something that I look forward to sharing with him.

I'll leave you with this.....the first Monday after finding out about him, I said a prayer for my brother and it is a moment that I will never forget because my heart was filled with such joy. It wasn't just because I had a new person that I could pray for, but I had been given an opportunity to love another person on a deeper level.  I can say that I love him now because he is one of Gods creation, but I really look forward to the day that I can tell him that I love him for who he is in my life. My brother.

Don't keep secrets!

With Love in Christ,

Deborah

 

 

Comments

[Patti]

[this is good] That is so awesome Deb, not the secrecy but the end result.  It is almost like being given a present that you had to wait and wait and wait to open, and when you finally do and you get to remove all the wrapping you find this amazing gift inside, a brother you never knew you had!  I am so happy for you and your siblings I hope this knowledge will bring healing and great joy to your family as well as closure to questions unanswered.  Love You!

[Braxton's Daddy]

This is truley amazing. What a trip huh. I can't even imagine how I would feel. Just maybe God kept him from you for a reason you will not know in this life and has brought you together for a reason now? Incredible and emotional stuff. WOW You never know what you are gonna be delt next. The things in our live good and bad never quit coming. Faith strengtheners I suppose.

[Michele Cotterill]

Man you made my hair stand on end when I read this!  I know EXACTLY how you feel.  I found out in my late twenties that I had an older sister who had been given up for adoption by my mom.  I went on a crying binge too -- it totally changed every dynamic I had ever had in my life.  Getting to know her was very brief because her adoptive family wasn't supportive of her being in contact with us -- so she said that she didn't want to have anything to do with us.  That was devastating for my mom, and for my sister and I.

My mom used an agency to locate her -- so she wasn't searching for us.  It was so cool to see the many things that we had in common even though we hadn't grown up together. 

This makes me think that I should begin praying for her.  I met her before I came back to to the Lord.  I believe that your brother will definitely come to know the Lord. 

I'll try to remember you in my prayers when I pray for my older sister now too.  May you be blessed in this journey, and may God bring healing and restoration all the way around.  God is so cool!

[DebSmith]

Thank you! I see it as a new chapter in my life and I'm excited to see what The Lord will do.

Love you too!

[DebSmith]

Jeff,

There are so many things that we may not understand, but I take comfort in knowing that God is in control.

I totally trust my Savior and will allow Him to guide my every step in this process of getting to know my little brother. It's funny to say that or to see it in print, but it's true and I'm grateful.

It was good to see you on Sunday. Hopefully we'll have more time to chat next time.

God Bless You!!!

[DebSmith]

Michele,

Thanks for leaving a comment and sharing your testimony. I too will be in prayer for restoration in your family.  This situation is more common that most would imagine.

Over the past month or so there have been so many people in the limelight whose darkened areas are coming to light especially with husbands that have cheated etc...and I thought to myself that everyone that has a secret of some sort should just come out with it to get it over with and that way we can all move on. Ha! Not going to happen, but it was just a thought.

It's good to hear from you.

Miss Ya,

 

[Michele Cotterill]

I know -- secrets are an awful thing.  We have been monitoring and commenting on a forum that is in on a Christian web site -- a woman came there who was having an affair with a pastor, got pregnant, had an abortion, etc., and she says that he has thousands of followers -- she came there seeking advice, and we are all praying for her salvation, because she indicated that she is not saved (yet).  But the pastor that is doing this stuff -- man, that stuff angers me because of the fact that I believe it makes God look bad, and people don't realize it's not God, but a man and his choices.

 

I will be praying for your situation too -- and pray that restoration will come as well.  Thank YOU for sharing your testimony and your life - I believe that when we as Believers are open about our lives and share what we are going through -- it helps others to know that they are not alone.

Thank you for always being transparent and sharing the LOVE of God with so many people -- truly Deborah -- you are a blessing.  You are a strong and mighty woman of God, and it brings tears to my eyes to think of your relationship with Him and I can just feel the LOVE He has for you and how much He adores you -- I can't even begin to explain it. 

Again, thank you.  I look forward to hearing more as this story unravels and God brings salvation and restoration to your family.

 

[DebSmith]

Michele,

The Truth has made me free and I'm not saying that just because it's The Word, I'm saying it because I believe it with my whole heart.

I thought to myself about the saying "Just be Yourself!" Well who else can you be? My life is an open book and I will not be ashamed of the gospel. (I didn't know that very phrase was in The Book until a few days ago. If I read it before, I don't recall; but I know the Holy Spirit does.) I share my experiences to the glory of God. Some would say that I share too much, but I'm not trying to please man anymore. I'm here to please My Lord and Savior. (This is leading into my next post)

I will walk the journey that He has for me and I believe that they are moments in where I must walk alone without others, although He is there with me.  I can not stand on the faith of others, it must be my faith in Him that will help me reach the ultimate goal in the calling that He has for me. I have a confidence in Christ that I have never had before and I'm going to walk boldly. 

I'll stop right there, so stay tuned................and you will see a glimpse of what God's love looks like in my life.

You are A Blessing!!!! 

 

[SerenityLife]

[this is good] Wow. Obviously this was divine to happen. I know it will all work out!